Self Love On Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is synonymous with love and romance in many parts of the world. It is customary to give gifts, plan outings, and focus on the person or persons you feel most affectionate about. Is there perhaps a deeper love or meaning that can be seen or felt?

Love is a tricky topic to discuss depending on the context. In a basic sense we can say that love is the uniting of two separate beings, a coming together. If they are truly separate how could they then come together? What would make that possible if it even is?

There is another way of seeing this that is more aligned with our actual experience and can be felt into even in the absence of a traditional significant other. To start, let’s ask and answer the following question:

What is shared between all people, regardless of their sex, gender, race, species, character, history, preferences, and so on?

We all share one Being. Our essential nature is whole and complete and universal. Conventional love can be understood as the temporary falling away of the veiling of our true nature and thus a simple recognition of our own Self in the other. This can be confused with various experiences such as attraction, appreciation, and attachment. If we are aware of the difference we can practice seeing our Self in everyone we cross paths with.

I’ll speak a bit from my own experience to assist in elucidating the concept.

Typically, we see our projection of a person as the most prominent layer, then their actions and words. Usually, the aware being is hidden underneath all of these mentations and perceptions. However, if we suspend the projection and look deeply into our experience of the other we may be struck with an incredible insight: the same aware-being that I am is looking out of the others eyes as well!

This isn’t seen in the same way we see an object such as a dove flying across the landscape. It is nonetheless recognized and this recognition can be felt deeply.

When people say things like “you complete me” what do they really mean? None of us would believe that literally there is a perfect matching of missing parts of one person and that the other fills those empty spaces. No. I suggest that the completion that we celebrate in these circumstances is simply the recognition of our _own_ completeness as it is revealed by the other.

There is a beautiful saying used in India “Namaste”. I like to think of its meaning as “Spirit in me recognizes Spirit in you”. I know of no equivalent in the west. There may be, but if so, it certainly isn’t as common as one would wish.

This greeting is an excellent opportunity to deepen our spiritual understanding through real world application. Many people may be uncomfortable using the word and if that is the case for you I suggest saying your usual greeting but in a slightly different tone bringing the full intention of the practice of seeing your Self in the other to bear on the greetings pronunciation.

If successful, even people you “don’t like” can be recognized as sharing the same being. This has brought me tremendous relief in many circumstances. Although I will admit that it initially was quite a bit easier with people that were easy to be around!

As an example I can share that a few weeks ago I was driving to pick up a gift for someone. During that drive the motorist behind me laid on the horn and tossed me the bird. Anger arose at first which is a normal biological reaction to the situation then as I took a breath and held it a few moments I could imagine the person and in recognizing Spirit a sense of calmness and compassion washed over me.

This practice is a gift of profound love that you can give to yourself, loved ones, and strangers alike.

May you be overwhelmed with love this Valentine’s Day.

Namaste